Make no mistake about it, relational aggression is not an issue to be solely addressed with girls.  Any child may engage in or be the victim of relational aggression.  But your data may show that relational aggression seems to rear its ugly head more often with your girls.  As such, we school counselors are always looking for ways to raise awareness about relational aggression amongst female students. National Girlfriends Day, which falls on August 1st every year, is a perfect opportunity to reflect on why this behavior may manifest more frequently in girls, and what school counselors can do to support positive relationships between girl friends at school.   While this day is typically celebrated as a way to acknowledge the importance of the friendships between women, we can also use it as a chance to educate and empower one another to recognize and combat the negative and hurtful behaviors that can sometimes occur within relationships.

Relational aggression, or the use of manipulative tactics to control, harm or intimidate someone within a relationship, is a pervasive issue amongst teenage girls. It can take many forms, such as excluding someone from social events, spreading rumors, or even cyberbullying. These types of behavior can cause serious emotional distress and have long-lasting effects on an individual’s mental health. Let’s discuss some tips on tackling relational aggression in school.

One way to address this issue is to encourage open dialogue amongst your students. Initiate candid conversations about how our words and actions can impact our relationships, both positively and negatively. Spend National Girlfriends’ Day celebrating and uplifting your women friends, and share with your students in a lesson or in your small group counseling how you made intentional efforts to support other women.  Show your students that it takes a supportive and collaborative effort to maintain healthy relationships with their female peers. Consider creating a “Girlfriends Day Pledge” for students, which they can all sign as a way to pledge to be kind, supportive, and acknowledge how their actions affect others.

It’s also important to remind our students that they don’t have to tolerate negative behavior within their friendships. When they witness negative or harmful behavior amongst their friends, they have the power to intervene and support their peers. Encourage students to speak to an adult if they are ever being bullied or if they witness bullying.

Social media can also play a large role in relational aggression among teenage girls. Instagram, Snapchat, and other social media platforms can intensify negative behavior by providing an audience for these hurtful actions. Encourage your students to be aware of their social media presence and to use these platforms as a way to uplift and support their peers.

Finally, it’s essential to address the underlying issues that may lead to relational aggression such as insecurity, jealousy, and low self-esteem. Plan workshops, both for troubled students and other students, to help them learn how to build healthy self-esteem and navigate their emotions in a positive manner.

National Girlfriends Day is an excellent opportunity for school counselors to reflect on our work to eliminate relational aggression among their female students. By bringing attention to this pervasive issue, initiating dialogue and raising awareness about harmful behavior amongst female peers, we can help empower our students to build stronger and healthier relationships. As a school counselor, you have the power to make a tremendous impact on your student’s lives. Let this National Girlfriends Day set the stage for promoting kindness, positivity, and inclusivity within your school community.

For more ways to address relational aggress in your school counseling work, head over to check out this resource on relational aggression where you’ll get a full until of lesson plans, pre and post tests, and games and activities that help children choose kindness over aggression.